My Husband Seems Unhappy! Dealing With This The Right Way
In order for a marriage to be truly fulfilling, both partners have to be emotionally invested in making it work. If you’ve been married for some time you know that your husband may go through patches where he just doesn’t seem as happy as he once did. It’s typically the same for us as women. However, most of us have the inclination to talk about what is bothering us. It’s very hard to balance unhappiness, or feelings of discontent with everything else we have going on. Men tend to approach their emotions in a much different way. It’s not uncommon for a man to hold everything inside. If your husband is unhappy, you’re obviously going to be quite concerned.
There are many different reasons why your husband may seem unhappy. It’s natural for a woman to carry the burden of her husband’s moods. Nature has gifted women with an inclination to want to fix emotional issues. If our children are arguing we tend to step in the middle of it to iron out the differences. We think nothing of being the referee. To an extent it’s the same with our marriages. If we sense something is amiss we’ll work hard to remedy it, as in the case of a husband who doesn’t seem satisfied anymore.
Is Your Husband Unhappy With Your Marriage or Is It Something Else?
Before you jump to the conclusion that your husband is unhappy with you or your marriage you need to either speak with him about it or do a little pre-conversation detective work. Women are notorious for launching into an emotional discussion without any warm-up. We do it all the time with our husbands. We are emotionally prepared for the conversation, but we don’t have all our ammunition ready to go. Hence the reason you can feel strong and secure in bringing up a subject with your husband, yet when he says one thing that disagrees with your opinion or agenda, you fall apart. It happens to all of us at one point.
If you’re not completely convinced that your husband’s unhappiness is a result of discord in your marriage, start asking him some pointed questions. Inquire about how his work is going, ask about his important friendships. Maybe he’s nearing mid-life and he’s feeling the pinch of Father Time creeping up behind him. Men become moody for any number of reasons and they don’t always express those openly with their wives. If you can get a better handle on what he’s dealing with at the moment, you’ll be able to better evaluate where his unhappiness is coming from.
When you do talk with him about it take a compassionate stance. Don’t be accusatory and try and be empathetic. Men have just as many emotional struggles as we do and every man wants his wife to be his safe haven in the world of emotional storms. If you are understanding and reasonable, he’s going to feel all that more comfortable opening up to you on a continual basis.
If he does confess to being unhappy with the state of the marriage, don’t take it personally. Marriage is work, even though we all want the world around us to believe our marriage is effortless. Scope out a plan that you both can contribute to that will bring your marriage back to a healthier and happier place. It may mean giving up some of your “me” time to spend more of it with your husband. Perhaps it’s more about talking to him about his own life. The solution may even involve dating again and reconnecting on a very basic level as a couple.
If your marriage is important to you and you adore your husband, put in the effort needed to get the relationship back to where you both want it to be. With the right insight, effort and plan, you can actually get your husband to want to make you happy all the while finding his fulfillment in that.
My marriage wasn’t always as fulfilling as it is now, I share my personal story here. I invite you to read it to find out how I made my husband love me more than ever.