My Husband Takes Me for Granted! The Right Way to Deal With This
“I feel like my husband takes me for granted!” You’ve said it, likely more than once, yes? I know that because I’ve felt the very same thing within my own marriage, as have most women. When a couple has been together for a time it’s almost inevitable that the dynamic between them will begin to shift. As women, we tend to take on more family responsibility including worrying over the children’s needs and ensuring the household is running smoothly. Unfortunately, as we’re focused on that our husbands may become more focused on their own lives. They get caught up in work or their personal friendships and we start to feel emotionally neglected. If you feel that your husband is taking you for granted, don’t allow this to continue. It can actually result in a wedge of resentment in your marriage that is very hard to overcome.
Obviously, if you’re like most women, you’re first inclination is going to be to talk with your husband about what you’re feeling. Communication is the cornerstone to a happy and balanced marriage, right? We all know this but in practice it’s not always the case. If your husband is oblivious to the fact that he is indeed taking you for granted, he’s going to be offended when you bring the subject up. Depending on his mood and how his day went, he may actually resent the fact that you feel this way. The problem is that if your husband is already feeling his own stress related to his work or his life in general, and you start telling him that you don’t feel he’s appreciating you enough, all he’ll likely hear within that is that he’s a bad husband. His defences will go up and you’ll find yourself on the losing end of a battle of the wills.
Most men just aren’t as empathetic as their female partners. You may have already noticed that with your own husband. Often, for a woman, it becomes boldly apparent after she’s given birth or the first time she becomes ill. Her husband doesn’t jump to become her personal nurse. In fact, he doesn’t offer the same selfless support that she does when he is feeling under the weather. The reasoning behind this is quite simple. Your husband just doesn’t picture himself in your shoes the same way you do with him. That’s why you need to approach the issue of feeling underappreciated in just the right way.
How to Make Your Husband Appreciate You Again
Begin by choosing a time to talk about what you’re feeling when you know your husband is feeling relaxed and happy. Tell him how much you love and appreciate him. Use examples when you are doing this. If you feel that he’s incredibly patient with the children, tell him as much. If you admire how hard he works to provide for the family, mention that. Your goal is to make him feel that you really do love him and need him. If you start off like this, the rest of the conversation will go much more smoothly.
Then explain that you have been feeling overwhelmed by all the responsibility that you’ve taken on. Never suggest that he has thrown all those tasks at you. If you do that, he’ll instantly see it as an attack on his character as a man and a husband. If you instead confess to trying to be superwoman and now realizing that you’re not, he’ll want to swoop in and be your own personal super hero. I’ve found it helpful to bring up the idea of looking for outside help in the form of a nanny or cleaning person. Most men would rather use any money directed for some domestic help for themselves so they’ll quickly volunteer to help.
Brighten up when he suggests this and tell him again what a wonderful partner he truly is. If your husband feels as though it’s his idea to help you more, he’ll be more inclined to follow through. Once you feel that he’s contributing, those emotions that have been connected to feeling taken for granted will begin to disappear.
Unfortunately, everything isn’t always black and white within any marriage. Sometimes you definitely have to think outside the box if you want the relationship to progress to a point where you feel appreciated and valued. Just remember, that by working together, you and your husband will both feel loved and cherished.
There is a guaranteed way to make your husband love you more. Your marriage can be everything you want it to be.