“Help! My husband says he’s not happy anymore and I’m scared he’s ready to leave!” You’ve thought it and now you’re saying it. You are indeed terrified, aren’t you? Did you ever imagine your once loving and attentive husband would announce that he’s unhappy? It’s a horrible moment for any woman to have to face. You instantly envision him packing his things and heading out the door. It doesn’t have to be that way though. There are many things you can do right now that will change your husband’s satisfaction level with the marriage so he feels not only more fulfilled but closer to you again as well.
Identify the Source of Your Husband’s Discontent
Before you can truly begin to help your husband find happiness within the marriage again you need to identify what is causing him to feel the way he does. Some men actually mistakenly believe that their unhappiness is related to their relationship with their wife when it’s outside forces. For instance, if your husband has a very stressful career and he often brings his work home with him, in an internal, emotional sense that can manifest itself in a disconnection with you. He may be sullen and withdrawn and feel detached. His announcement that he’s unhappy with you makes sense to him because you’re the person he’s most emotionally connected to so he assumes immediately that the problem is between you two.
Take a long and honest look at your husband’s life and all of his other relationships including those with your children. If he’s facing conflict he may be taking that out on you by saying you’re the reason he’s unhappy. You can typically pick up on what’s going on in your husband’s life just by listening to who he complains about. Once you believe you have a better understanding of what he’s dealing with on a personal level you can then address what he feels in relation to your marriage.
Steps to Make Your Husband Happy
Talk to your husband about what he feels and bring up specific things you’ve noticed. If you have listened to him complain endlessly about how he feels undervalued by his superior at work, mention that to your husband. If you’ve sensed that he’s feeling neglected in terms of his parenting suggestions, address that with him. It’s important that you make it clear to him that you’ve been noticing certain behavior patterns and you feel those may be contributing to the discontent he feels within your marriage.
Engage your husband more than you have been. It’s very easy to get so caught up in your own life that you neglect your husband and what’s going on with him. Invite him out for a nice dinner or plan a weekend away just for the two of you. Your husband may be feeling as though you aren’t making the time to be with him and that can easily manifest itself into bitter resentment on his part. Put more effort into nurturing the connection between you and the man you married.
It’s also important to talk about what you both can do to improve the marriage. It’s not advisable for you to begin a dialogue on this topic by pointing out everything you wish your husband did differently. Instead, invite him to tell you what he feels is missing from the marriage and what you can do, as his wife, to improve that. Once he’s had his say, add your concerns to the mix. This way you both can work together to make the marriage more rewarding and fulfilling for each other.
Learn more about my personal journey to improve the relationship I had with my husband by clicking here.
“I feel like my husband does not love me anymore!” It’s incredibly sad to hear a woman say this, particularly if that woman is still very much committed to her husband and the marriage. All marriages cycle through times where there’s an abundance of closeness while other times there’s distance and frustration. If you’re stuck too long in a difficult phase it’s understandable why you’d begin to feel as though your husband isn’t in love with you. It’s normal for any woman in this position to worry about the possibility of a divorce. If that’s not something that you can even bear to think about, it’s time to change your marriage. Yes, you and you alone, have the ability to shift your marriage from the unhappy and unfulfilling place it is to one of comfort, love and tenderness again.
Understanding How Different You and Your Husband Are
Before you jump to any conclusions about how your husband feels about you, it’s important to recognize the differences that exist between men and women. Men often withdraw into themselves when they feel stressed, worried or even just frustrated. In many instances, the wife is the closest person to the husband so she takes the brunt of his changing moods. She interprets the changes in him as being related to their marriage, even if he’s expressly explained that it’s not. This could very well be what is happening in your relationship now. If your husband is carrying too much stress, you may absorb that as being directed towards you.
That’s what it’s essential that you open up a dialogue with your spouse about what you’re feeling. I know that it can be hard to be reasonable and rational when you feel your marriage is slipping through your fingers, but talk to your husband as his life partner. Calmly explain that you’ve noticed some significant changes in his attitude and demeanour. If you can pinpoint certain instances, have that ready. You want to be direct but not overly emotional and you definitely don’t want to be accusatory in the least.
Why You Have to Express What You Feel to Your Husband
Many women feel a need to hide their feelings away when they first suspect that their husband is falling out of love. They do this because they don’t want to seem vulnerable or needy. They hold all their fear inside of themselves and it begins to manifest itself in very negative ways. Some examples are a loss of interest in work or friends or less patience with children. It’s important that you express what you’re feeling, even if it’s too a trusted friend. If that’s not an option, journal what you’re feeling. By having an outlet for those emotions you’ll find that you feel more centered and have a lot more clarity than you would otherwise.
You love your husband so it’s important that you fight for your marriage. That’s very different than fighting within your marriage. Don’t allow your husband to drag you into an argument just so he can let off some steam. Show that you’re the more mature partner by telling him that it’s best if you both cool down when there’s a conflict brewing. By taking this stance and essentially being the “grown up” you can guide your husband towards more mutual understanding and healing.
You can use very specific techniques to make your husband love you again. Any woman, regardless of how difficult her marriage is now, can have the connection she’s always wanted with her spouse.